Vodka, Sarcasm and Other Disinfectants

by Lady Deane

Starting in May, three planets will retrograde within a few days of one another. In June Mercury will join the party and in September Mars will retrograde as well. And did I mention that there are three eclipses this summer?

And right now, as I write this in April, we are essentially living in the shadow phase of some of these retrogrades. The “pre-game show” if you will. Somehow, this does not scream “let’s all leave our houses again and get back to work” to me. Or “let’s all crowd into churches everywhere on Easter Sunday.” You know, so we can really celebrate the pandemic in style (I’ll bring the disinfectant wipes). Do I sound sarcastic yet? Then perhaps another vodka…

I’m not saying we won’t find some new and unusual ways to become (or stay) active and connected despite the coronavirus, because we (Americans especially) are nothing if not innovative. But I WILL say that the retrograde specialty is going within (not without). Introspection, self-reflection, you know, stuff that takes ALONE TIME. And not just in your head.

So what I’m thinking is that, instead of crowding all together in church with our notoriously religious president on Easter Sunday, perhaps we should all just stay the heck home (although, picturing him in his very fancy church clothes may actually be worth it. Cuz you just know he’ll have on his big Easter bonnet. The biggest. Tremendous. HUGE. Like no one has ever seen before).

Yes. Again with the sarcasm. This is what isolation and too much CNN has led to. I’m thinking of just watching the Disney channel from now on. I could really use some Aladdin right now. I’d wish us back to the time when we still believed in climate change and were besties with Canada. Oh, for the good ole days.

But I digress. And I swear, I really did start this article to offer some hope and a smidgen of practical advice.  So here are some Do’s, Don’t’s and Dates for the retrograding energies. And keep in mind that all retrogrades, to some extent, follow the old adage:

“Use it up, Wear it Out; Make it Do or Do Without!.”

So REuse, REpurpose, REpair are your watchwords, now and throughout the summer.

May 11 thru Sept 28: SATURN Retrogrades from Aquarius back to Capricorn

Saturn rules some big stuff like work and our career path. Many people will be rethinking these things now or reinventing new ways to do old jobs. I read the other day that a dairy farmer began delivering milk again to homes in person…in glass bottles like in the old days! Genius! He didn’t think it would work at first, but overnight he had more people signed up than he could handle. People who think outside the box (or even reuse a box from the past) will find a way over, under or through now. Some businesses of course will not be coming back after this is over. But perhaps this will give people a chance to do something else in life. Take a new path, try a new skillset. Early retirement? For some it’s an option. The idea here is to look around you. Reassess your own personal situation.

Real Estate can sometimes be a problem with both Venus and Saturn retrograding at the same time. Saturn rules real estate and Venus rules finances. So, if you’re planning on selling a house you may see some delays or a really slow market. And you may sell for less than what you had hoped for. If you can wait until late summer or early fall you’ll probably have better luck. But if you have to sell now, then give yourself the best possible chance by doing some work ahead of time. Tidy up any foundation or structural issues. Finish up projects already begun. And double-check your buyer’s financial/loan paperwork.

Also, in terms of finances and retrogrades, Saturn favors paying off debt and Venus favors saving. So they are on the same page here.

May 13 thru June 24: VENUS Retrogrades in Gemini

This one worries me a bit, because Gemini rules the lungs and given the medical problems people are having with the virus, I just don’t like the symbolism. What retrograde energy is perfect for though is strengthening any weak areas. So deep breathing exercises would be beneficial now. There are many wonderful YouTube videos on increasing lung capacity and it is actually very simple to do. You don’t need any equipment and you can do it right at home. But you need to do it every day. Also, retrograde energy is very good for research, so we may see new medications or treatments coming out that improve lung health. Perhaps a vaccine for the virus? It seems a bit early for that to me, but steady progress can be made in this area.

Venus also rules your physical comfort level, so probably a lot of people might be feeling that home*sweet*home is not as sweet as it could be. But home needn’t become a prison. A few basic changes or improvements should help; but think “try me out” before you commit to broad sweeping changes. For instance, you may want to entirely re-do the living room or your office, but before you throw everything away and order new stuff, try living with just one new piece at a time. Is that chair really as comfy as it looks on your computer screen? You won’t know until you try it out. And now’s the time to heed (or at least read) those reviews left by previous buyers.

Also, Venus will have a lot of us reaching for the comfort food. You know, apple pie just like mom used to make. So we try to make one. But then we learn that real flakey pie crust takes Crisco, not margarine. In other words, that comfort food may not taste like you remember it. Again, retrogrades often have a “trial and error” period. If you stick with it, you’ll eventually come up with a recipe that works for you. And some of you will learn to cook for the very first time, or even grow some of your own food. Victory (backyard) gardens may see a comeback now and windowsill gardens are nutritious and cheerful.

May 14 thru Sept 12: JUPITER Retrogrades in Capricorn

Well, Jupiter rules travel, so I guess this one doesn’t surprise anyone. Many of us have already cancelled travel plans and will be “stay-cationing.” Retrogrades won’t stop the really determined from going somewhere, but they often do present obstacles, unforeseen problems, delays, or cancellations.

Jupiter also rules higher education, so schools and colleges may not be open for business as usual. Or they may just find another way to educate….online classes should become pretty popular I’m thinking. Teachers have already shown a Herculean ability to transform their delivery methods, so I think this will open new doors for a lot of them. In the end, the only thing that can really stop education is a closed mind.

In addition to the retrograde energies, this summer will feature three eclipses. Retrogrades tend to slow things down a bit, have us working behind the scenes, or in private, or trouble shooting something already in progress. But eclipses tend towards getting stuck energy moving again. At first glance, these two things don’t seem to be congruent with one another. But I think they can work side-by-side, as long as people are not rushing to completion. And remember that eclipses work like vacuum cleaners. They make you clean out your closets first…before you move forward. So take your time on any projects you have going on now. Make sure you double check things before going ahead. Organize, prioritize, trouble-shoot. Get ALL your ducks in a row. Then act.

June 5: Full Moon Lunar Eclipse, 15 Degrees Sag/Gemini

June 21: New Moon Solar Eclipse, 0 Degrees Cancer

July 4/5: Full Moon Lunar Eclipse, 13 Degrees Capricorn/Cancer

The repetition of the sign Cancer in these eclipses (there was also a Cancer eclipse earlier in the year on Jan 10th) represents the family and our ability to nurture ourselves and our loved ones. Families will be getting together a bit differently now, but they will be in touch. And you can expect to hear from people you haven’t heard from in awhile. Maintaining health and healthcare for all will be a major theme.  And I also think that the eclipse energy will shine a light on those who are without family or who have been living in poverty, where food scarcity is a problem. Nurturing the poor – literally, making sure that people have enough to eat to be healthy in the first place – will be a theme. Saturn and Pluto have been traveling together for some time. Saturn represents the “old guard” and Pluto represents a major transformation. That, along with the summer eclipses, may signal a changing of the guard with respect to authority and control. And so we may see a transfer of power over the next 18 months.

There you have it. 2020 is complex (astrology-wise), and while it’s strong enough to be felt by everyone, individuals will have a variety of experiences depending on where these things are hitting their own natal charts (your mileage may vary). But on a larger scale, we ALL have bigger fish to fry, and larger lessons to learn.  Border walls and ivory towers won’t keep us safe when the whole world is hurting. If you had any illusions previously about the fact that we are all connected, then this year should really open your eyes. The land, the sea, and the sky are all sick and we are the reason. To the earth, we are the virus. But it doesn’t need to be that way. What we have destroyed we can repair. People are amazingly resilient and resourceful (all “re” words. Go Re-trogrades!).

I think that the real message of 2020 is to live with intention. It’s a tall order, but we can learn to become stewards of the land, guardians of the waters, and protectors of the sky. It’s our mess and we can clean it up. It’s not too late to honor the Earth. When Astrologers say “As Above, So Below” we often mean that the planets and stars in the heavens were meant to guide us. And what we see above our head, plays out here down on Earth. It’s an Angelic code, the language of the Gods and Goddesses. But the Earth is below and we (the people) are above, as well. So what we do up here matters to the Earth beneath our feet. If we don’t learn to live with intention and in harmony with natural laws, if we don’t respect our home, then the Earth will no longer be able to sustain and nurture us. Mother is sick. And if we want to heal, then we need to help her heal first. The good news is humanity will get thru this. The more somber news is that this is probably not the last pandemic we’ll see.

Most important grass-roots movements have begun one person at a time, making whatever changes they can make, and then sharing them. So never think that your one individual contribution, sacrifice, or change is too small to help. We are ALL capable of making a difference. For ourselves, for one another, and for the larger global community. Let’s all just take it one step at a time.

And you know what comes next, right? Because it’s Our Cosmic Dance, and we’re all dancing together in an immense Celestial Ballroom, with an endless variety of steps and a constantly changing rhythm.  And if we should need to learn a few new steps every now and again, well, then we are more than capable of doing so. Like a tree in a storm, if you sway you won’t break.  So LIVE with intention, DANCE your way through it, and SWAY with the rhythm.

And vodka. Don’t forget the vodka. OK, it may not actually disinfect anything (according to the CDC you’ll need something stronger than vodka for that). But I do know a guy who delivers.  : 0 )